What’s your “warm bottom” moment?

“My bottom is as warm as it can be,” says my mom as we’re out and about on a Saturday afternoon last winter. Our outings became a regular event for us, as her health declined and COVID-19 allowed me more time to be with her in person. The good, the bad, and the ugly all wrapped up together.

Heated seats were a luxury for me when I bought my Honda Pilot 15 years ago. I guess these days warm bottoms are fairly standard. You think my car is old? Mom’s Olds Bravada was 23 years old! And, it didn’t have heated seats.

When your weight has dropped by 25 pounds, walking is difficult, and breathing becomes your full-time job, an extravagance such as a warm bottom matters. Diagnosed a few years ago with COPD, emphysema, and heart failure, Mom continued as the same trooper she’d been all her life. Her life as a caregiver began with the birth of her sister (born when Mom was 11), and continued to my dad (married when Mom was 21), to me (born when Mom was 30), and to her mother (who moved nearby when Mom was in her 70s). Self-care was a foreign concept to Mom. She fought to remain relevant and did so by keeping her local friends network tightly bound. She wrote and mailed cards and notes each day, baked cookies to share with those who stopped by, and didn’t hesitate to call Spectrum customer support in the middle of the night if her cable service went out.

Whatever your “warm bottom” moments may be, cherish them. If you’re struggling to find resources to support yourself and your loved ones, please reach out to Transitions CaregiverSupport – this caregiver resource team can connect you to dozens of vetted organizations in the Triangle area from adult day care, to in-home care, to end-of-life organizations.

–by Darcy Dye Bowers

Darcy is the fortunate only child of Bob & Georgia, both of whom died while under the loving care of Scotland Regional Hospice. She encourages frank conversations with loved ones, research into care options, and sharing family stories.